


Renegade Pearl

by Mystic_Diamond



Series: Pearl Revolution [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crystal Gem Origins, Female Friendship, Gen, Homeworld Pearls - Freeform, Homeworld caste system, Implied Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Pearl-centric (Steven Universe), Rebellion, Renegade Pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:57:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Diamond/pseuds/Mystic_Diamond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was nothing more terrifying than a defective Gem, especially a defective Pearl. Especially one that can fight. And no one was more scared of her than Blue Pearl, who was the perfect example of a Homeworld Pearl. When Blue Diamond's army kidnapped Rose's Pearl to hold for ransom, Blue Pearl is ordered to watch the defective Gem. </p>
<p>The Pearl was dangerous, blunt, and everything Pearls weren't supposed to be. </p>
<p>But maybe that wasn't a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worthless as a Defect

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the Rebellion. A what-if scenario if Blue Pearl and Crystal Gem Pearl actually knew each other. This is not an AU, everything coincides with the original timeline.

"But I don't understand, my Diamond," Blue Diamond's Jasper warrior asked. "Out of all possible Crystal Gem prisoners to take for ransom . . . why must you order us to take Rose Quartz's Pearl?"

"Because my soldier," Blue Diamond answered. "If there's anything Rose Quartz values more, it's her second-in-command."

Rose was a powerful soldier, fierce and cunning, and was flocked by loyal followers. But if she possessed one weakness, it was her attachment to her subordinates. It was decided to exploit Rose's one weakness by raiding her camp and taking those who mattered most to her and hold them for ransom. Blue Diamond knew her former ally well and she knew that Rose would surrender everything she's worked for if the Diamonds had her most prized soldier.

The Jasper yielding at Blue Diamond's feet scratched her wild hair. "But why would she value her Pearl servant? She can simply get another one. There are many more models for her to choose from. She's a rare Rose Quartz."

"Rose's Pearl is not like the other common Pearls," Blue Diamond informed her soldier. She stroked the hair of her own Pearl, perfect and pristine as should be, protectively, like she could be hurt by what she was going to say next. "Hers is a defect."

Blue Diamond's Pearl, clasping her hands together oh-so-gracefully as her master held her, trembled a little. The thought of a renegade Pearl was frightening. It was like watching a caged animal go mad, something so destructive and begging to be fixed, simply being devoured by its psyche. Defectives were known to be mistakes in fertilizing that somehow got past Kindergartners and accidentally released into the world, not knowing that they needed to be shattered. Defective Gems were fabled to be deformed, reckless, and extremely discordant with their programming. A Gem that was able to go against the standards of their purpose was an outcast, a mistake simply begging to be erased from history. They shamed their Diamonds, the Kindergartners who developed them, and all of Gem kind.

"All the more reason to not waste our time with Rose's Pearl," Jasper rebutted. "Being a defect only makes the Pearl even more worthless than she already was."

"You do not understand, my guard," Blue Diamond intoned. "Rose doesn't treat her Pearl the way we treat ours. In the psychotic laws of the Crystal Gems, Rose's Pearl is important. Besides, you have seen her fight first-hand. She's quite powerful for a Gem of her kind. That Pearl is valuable in the corrupt eyes of Rose Quartz, so she would do anything to get her back. She could be a useful informant as well. Whatever Rose knows, her Pearl knows. We could easily fish out information out of that pathetic excuse of a threat, she's still a Pearl after all, she's absolutely defenseless without her master. If we have her in our hands, Rose can't possibly do anything."

Blue Diamond chuckled softly at the thought of a Pearl ever being important to her or any Gem in their right mind. They were weak, expendable, and had no skills whatsoever besides being pretty. Being incompetent in any other line of work, they were put to use by being servants for the elite, being trained to entertain and serve rather than attack or build. Non-elite Gems saw them as utterly useless, saying that Pearls were simply a manufactured product for the rich (while those statements may be true, they simply were jealous that they were not valuable enough to own one). How could a Pearl ever hold any authority, they were simple-minded and easily distracted. The Crystal Gems were truly a backwards society.

"Truly brilliant, my Diamond," Jasper smiled a wolfish grin.

Blue Diamond's Pearl looked down at her bare feet. The possibility a Pearl being important, being valued was truly preposterous but could it be possible for all Pearls? Perhaps it was true for any common Pearl, that they had a purpose beyond standing there and looking nice. What if Rose simply saw what little potential Pearls may have?

Blue Pearl then dismissed her thoughts. She was being just as insane as the defective Pearl servant Rose Quartz owned. She was what she was, and if the Diamonds decreed her as worthless, then she truly was worthless. No one could ever deny the righteous words of a Diamond. It was a crime to do so.

Rose Quartz lost her worth and reputation once she defied the Great Diamond Authority. Her legacy was tarnished, her subordinates became her enemies, and any chance of her being redeemed for her actions disappeared.

Blue Pearl could never imagine herself being like that. That would surely classify her as insane. Defective, even.

"Once you invade the Crystal Gems' camp, take whatever could hold value to Rose Quartz," Blue Diamond commanded the Jasper. "And do not forget the Pearl. She is what we came for." A devilish smile peeked from underneath the midnight blue cloak she wore. "You are dismissed."

The Jasper crossed her arms in the signature Diamond Authority sign of respect and left.

Blue Diamond sighed in content, lifting her Pearl onto her lap and ran her long elegant fingers through Blue Pearl's feathery tresses. "Thank goodness, we have a way to defeat those rebels. I almost thought that I couldn't solve this matter on my own."

Blue Diamond signaled for her Pearl to speak.

The blue Pearl spoke in a soft meek voice. She was rarely allowed to talk in the presence of her Diamond, and when she was, it was usually to sing her Diamond's praises. "You are brilliant, Blue Diamond. No one could ever deny that."

Her Diamond smiled sinisterly. "Once we have captured her precious Pearl, Rose Quartz would surrender and all of this would be over. We can proceed with the Kindergarten and once this disgusting planet is wiped off our star maps, you and I can go back to Homeworld and relax in peace."

"I anticipate taking care of you after all of this is over," Blue Pearl replied softly.

"My darling pet," Blue Diamond purred. She fondly stroked her servant's cheek. "You are a good Pearl, nothing like that awful defect Rose parades around with."

"That's what I aspire to be," Blue Pearl responded stoically.


	2. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Diamond imprisons the renegade Pearl. To keep her under control, she decides to send her own Pearl to watch the captive, just to show an example of what she should be.

It all happened so fast. Pearl could remember the burly Quartz warriors raiding the Crystal Gem base. She could still recall Garnet pulling out her weapon for the first time—a pair of gauntlets, naturally—to fight them off. She could remember dozens of Homeworld Jaspers falling to the blades of her swords, never even seeing her coming with how fast and clever Pearl was. Flames devoured the camp as Homeworld Gems kept coming to destroy and steal, but the Crystal Gems were strong and held them back from kidnapping their kind. But then out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rose being cornered by a Milky Quartz, battle axe in hand. Without even thinking, she jumped in to rescue her mistress from certain demise, despite Garnet's attempts to stop her.

But when the Milky Quartz sliced through Pearl's delicate physical form, the thin white Gem could make out a small whisper from the snarling enemy.

"Do you really think we came here for Rose?"

The sinister words were the last thing Pearl heard before she retreated back into her gem. Pearl could still remember the vicious smile.

A glow of bright white lit up the dark and empty prison cell as the oval gemstone on the cold floor levitated in the air, surging with glittering rays of light. A lithe, delicate body formed, and clothes and hair manifested before it, revealing Pearl herself, newly regenerated.

"That feels better," Pearl sighed, admiring the new tulle shawl she adorned.

But when she surveyed her surroundings, she finally realized that she was not at home at all. She was within a cold, cramped room, one with coal-colored crystalline walls and an ashen floor. There was barely any light in the room, and not a window or a door to be seen.

"Where am I?" Pearl gasped.

A voice snickered behind her. "She doesn't look defective to me. She's actually quite pretty."

"You can totally see she's defective," a second voice sneered. "Look at her gemstone, it's a different shape. Plus, my Pearl is much more attractive than her."

"I still wouldn't mind replacing mines with her though," the first voice replied. "Look at her curves."

Pearl could no longer stand the snickers and the whispers of judgment. It reminded her of the days when masters would compare their Pearls and how pretty they were, like the Pearls themselves had no opinion of their own.

The white Gem turned around to see an Amethyst soldier and a Milky Quartz staring at her through a tiny window in the wall. She made a mad dash for the wall, desiring to claw their faces out but the Quartzes bolted the window shut before she could get her hands on them.

"Where am I? Tell me," Pearl demanded through the thick metal walls, rapping her fists against it.

"Prison," the Amethyst answered; the one who called her "pretty."

"Where's Rose?" she whispered. Panic spread throughout her. Could she be in a cell as well? Or worse, inside an execution hall, awaiting a trial?

The Quartzes roared with laughter.

"We don't care where that clod is," Milky Quartz shouted. Pearl remembered her as the one who destroyed her physical form.

Pearl clenched her teeth. How dare they call her Rose a clod? She pressed against the walls and shouted, "Tell me why am I here!"

"Blue Diamond's orders," the Homeworld Amethyst answered. "She demanded that you were incarcerated without your master."

"What's the point of keeping me here?" Pearl asked.

"Information," the Milky Quartz replied with a smirk.

"I'll never crack," Pearl spat out venomously.

"Yes you would," the Amethyst replied. "You know why? Because for once, you are without your master, and you are without your weapons, which means now, you are absolutely powerless. Just like a Pearl should be."

Pearl scowled and tried to make a retort. But then an aching realization dawned upon her. She constantly failed when trying to summon a weapon so Rose gave her a pair of swords to fight with. Now those are gone. And since Pearl was a beginner when it came to war strategy, Rose gave her most the orders. Now she was gone.

But Pearl did have one thing left: her devotion. That had to be enough to keep her from going insane. She wouldn't let a prison cell make her betray Rose. Nothing would ever be strong enough to make her do that, not even a Diamond.

"Mark my words," Pearl grunted. "Rose would come back for me. She would never forget about me."

"Don't you understand?" Milky Quartz shouted. "That's exactly what we want her to do."

"What do you mean; the prisoner is driving you insane?" Blue Diamond inquired the Amethyst that stood before her.

"I swear she lives to annoy the heck out of me," the Homeworld Amethyst growled. "She's nothing like a normal Pearl. She's loud, obnoxious, and constantly belittles us, as if she's the one above me. I thought you said we would be torturing her."

"What kind of Quartz are you?" Blue Diamond snarled, rising to her feet. Her Pearl shivered in surprise. It was rare when her Diamond got so mad. "She is the one being imprisoned. You should be the one intimidating her. I told you to guard her so she won't escape! So why are you scared of her?"

"She's a defect, my Diamond," Amethyst stuttered, her cockiness dissipating. "She's not like other Pearls. She's more . . . outspoken."

"I don't care if her defect makes her twenty feet tall!" Blue Diamond shouted. "If you can't subdue her, then I'll find someone else who will! Now leave!"

Blue Pearl had never saw a Quartz leave faster than the Amethyst.

Blue Diamond sat down on her throne once more. She began to rub her temples. "This planet continues to stress me out. I will lose it if there's another problem."

Blue Pearl grabbed her master's hand and did what her kind did best: comfort and praise. "Things will turn out for the better," Blue Pearl whispered as she massaged her Diamond's hands.

The massive Gem matriarch looked down at her modest Pearl. "I swear we need someone who can tame the Pearl into submission so we can relax. We can't possibly have her getting on our nerves. Rose is supposed to be the one having a meltdown."

"We can announce her Pearl's capture so the rebellion ends quicker," Blue Pearl suggested.

"No," Blue Diamond interjected. "We have to wait for Rose to be at her weakest in order for the plan to work. So far, she's still fighting. The only thing we can do is make sure we're not at our weakest with that annoying prisoner. We have to find a way to get the prisoner to behave so we don't lose our minds."

Blue Diamond's eyes rested on her Pearl. The perfect example of a Homeworld Pearl: beautiful, obedient, an empty shell filled with quiet devotion. An absolute doll in the eyes of the Gem elite, willing to do whatever told.

"You," Blue Diamond breathed.

"Me?" her Pearl squeaked back.

"If we show the defect a perfect example of what she should be," Blue Diamond explained. "Then the prisoner will behave. You can keep her from acting out and escaping. All you have to do is watch her and perhaps persuade her into staying."

"But how can I do that?" Blue Pearl whispered. "I'm a Pearl."

"Remember, once you see her," Blue Diamond intoned. "Be friendly towards her. Keep her calm and steady. Perhaps when she sees a real Pearl, she'll stop being such a defective clod. All you have to do is comfort her and keep her from getting more reckless than she already is. Reform her, if you will. At least until Rose finally breaks down. You would do this for your Diamond, won't you?"

"Of course I would," Blue Pearl clasped her hands together. "I would do anything for you."

"Then obey my simple order," Blue Diamond ordered. "Tame the defect."


	3. Meeting the Renegade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Pearl meets her Diamond's captive . . . and she's not as dangerous as she was fabled to be.

Blue Pearl's footsteps were barely audible as she walked down the corridor that held the rebel Pearl's cell. A nervous sweat broke out from underneath her thick bangs but she tried her best to remain calm and elegant. She repeated her Diamond's instructions in her head.

Keep the prisoner company.

If she shows any signs of agitation, calm her down.

Show her what it means to be a real Pearl and subdue her rebellious behavior.

Blue Pearl had never seen a real defective Gem before but she has read reports. Cases of Gems being damaged through their emerging processes or being incubated for far too long or too little; those mistakes resulted in unfixable deformities, damaged programming, and reckless behavior. It was impossible to fix a Gem's defect, as their flaws were in their gemstone and you can't fix them without completing shattering them in the process, but there has been instances where they were tamed, if only temporarily. It was why defects were shattered immediately; it was better to be broken than to live your life as a mistake.

A shiver ran through Blue Pearl's spine as she faced the prisoner's cell door. The gate had a special lock; only an authorized Ruby guard or a Quartz warrior could activate it. But there was a viewing window available to communicate with the captive. Blue Pearl slowly unbolted the window, preparing to see a wild corrupt creature.

The cell was mostly empty, except for a small Gem huddled up in a corner, her face concealed behind her bony knees.

Blue Pearl had expected a hideous deformed being, incapable of intelligent conversation.

But no, when the captive looked up and wiped away her tears, Blue Pearl saw that she was just as beautiful as any other perfect Pearl. Her feathery hair reached her chin and was swept back and tapered to a point. Her body was lithe and graceful, just like all Gems of her kind. She had wide blue eyes, peach-colored hair, and wore a pale blue tunic and short purple leggings. It was hard to call her a defect; she was quite stunning.

At first the Pearl glared, but her expression softened when she saw it was a Gem of her own kind.

"What are you doing here?" she asked; her voice cold and assertive.

Blue Pearl was startled at first but then regained her composure. "My Diamond instructed me to keep you company."

"Why would she do that?" the Pearl grunted.

"To make sure you are comfortable," Blue Pearl replied.

"Well, how am I supposed to be comfortable here?" the Pearl remarked, gesturing to the cold bleakness of her cell. "Is this some sort of trick?"

"If there was any trick," Blue Pearl answered. "She wouldn't have sent me, her Pearl."

The captive was silent for a minute and then said softly, "I don't need anyone to keep me company. I am fine."

Blue Pearl wasn't going to take no for an answer however. She stayed to monitor the prisoner's behavior, as instructed.

The defect avoided Blue Pearl's gaze, instead she solemnly stared at the walls, deep in thought. She noticed that the Pearl's gem, placed on her forehead, had an odd shape; oblong instead of perfectly round like the one on Blue Pearl's chest. Her clothes weren't that different from any other perfect Pearl's, but the defect's outfit was more modest than skimpy and was less formal, more suitable for the battlefield.

"You were that Pearl from the Cloud Arena," Blue Pearl whispered. That battle took place several years ago, back when the rebellion was smaller and less of a threat, but that day lived forever in infamy. It was the day when the first cross-type fusion occurred, and the day Blue Diamond lost her only Sapphire to Earth's wilderness.

The defective Pearl made eye contact with her sentry and nodded.

"How were you able to poof all those Jaspers?" Blue Pearl inquired.

"They weren't that much of a threat," the captive answered. "They're not as tough once you stand up to them."

A smile almost appeared on the Pearl's face, but was quickly hidden away.

"That fusion . . . she joined the Crystal Gems, didn't she?" Blue Pearl asked. She remembered that a few Quartzes once spoke of the cross-type fusion actually fighting against Blue Diamond's army.

"Yes," the Pearl answered. "And she's not the fusion. Her name is Garnet."

"Why would she have a name?" Blue Pearl asked. "Wouldn't you call her Ruby and Sapphire?"

"She's more than just her two components," the prisoner replied. "Garnet is her own person. You Homeworld Gems simply haven't realized that. All of the Crystal Gems have names. We don't go by our serial numbers."

Blue Pearl was bewildered. How would you be able to name Gems of the same type without their Facet and Cut types? She herself was usually referred to as "Blue Diamond's Pearl" but that was because it was her title and Pearls were usually distinguished by their masters. Other Gems went by the long string of letters and numbers given to them by their Kindergartners.

"What do they call you then?" Blue Pearl asked.

"Pearl," the captive answered, as if it was obvious. "And you should call me that as well."

"Not by 'Rose's Pearl,'" Blue Pearl asked.

Pearl sniffed. "I do not belong to her."

"Then who do you belong to?" Blue Pearl questioned.

"Nobody," Pearl screeched. She then calmed down and added, "I'm just Pearl, I am my own Gem."

Any Gem would call that delusional, a Pearl that had no master and didn't seek one. But Blue Pearl didn't keep prying. She had a feeling that those matters were personal to the defect—err . . . Pearl.

"So if I must call you Pearl, what would you call me?" Blue Pearl asked.

"Well, to make things less confusing," Pearl replied. "Perhaps I can call you Blue?"

Her Diamond would abhor having her Pearl be referred to as such. It would defy every rule Pearls were ordered to follow. Pearls weren't supposed to have names, to have identities. They were made to serve their masters and entertain the elite, they weren't supposed to be individuals.

But Blue Pearl accepted the nickname as such. It was uncreative and quite silly, but she had to whatever it takes to keep the Pearl comfortable, even if it meant bending the rules a little.

"I like it," Blue Pearl answered. "Thank you . . . Pearl."


	4. Anything for a Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Pearl reports back to her master.

Blue Diamond's plan seemed to be working, much to everyone's shock. The prisoner was much more tolerable now with a companion to talk to. It had taken a couple of Earth rotation cycles, but the defect was warming up to Blue Diamond's Pearl. It was surprising that a Pearl could do such a task that no one else could accomplish. Pearls were meant for simple menial tasks, like cleaning and answering calls and pampering their master. But Blue Pearl seemed to be capable of guarding the defective prisoner and taming her, something not even the highest-ranking Quartz could do.

Perhaps it was simply an instinct for Gems like her.

Perhaps the prisoner could only cooperate with low-ranking Gems such as Blue Pearl.

Perhaps Blue Pearl was only using the caretaking skills she was programmed with to communicate with the defect.

Whatever it was, it pleased Blue Diamond.

And it angered all of her court.

"My Pearl," Blue Diamond asked as her servant returned from the prisoner quarters. "Tell me about our prisoner. I am quite curious about what makes her so capable. How can she fight just as well as my warriors?"

Blue Pearl spoke up. "The Pearl told me that Rose Quartz had trained her to fight."

Blue Diamond chuckled. "What kind of master would do that to their Pearl? She was practically encouraging the Pearl to go against her code. Typical for a Gem like Rose."

Blue Pearl quivered as she added, "My Diamond, she informed me that she was not Rose's Pearl."

The Gem matriarch paused. She leaned forward in surprise, suddenly interested with this new information. Her imposing presence frightened her Pearl, who had now regretted sharing that information.

"She does not belong to Rose?" Blue Diamond questioned, "Then why she serving her?"

"I don't know why, the Pearl said she didn't have a master," Blue Pearl stammered, losing the pristine stance she had before.

Blue Diamond leaned back, which gave relief to her Pearl. She spoke again, "I suppose that's understandable, because if the defect belonged to Rose, she would've had been pink and her gem location would match Rose's. I suppose she's never had a master because of her defect, but then she would've been shattered."

A frustrated scowl appeared from underneath Blue Diamond's cloak. She was deep in thought about the Pearl. Her eyebrows, which were hidden from view, knitted together. Blue Pearl sucked in her breath as she awaited her Diamond's reply.

Suddenly, Blue Diamond spoke once more. "I blame the incompetent Kindergartners. I would replace the Peridots working there, but there is no other kind of Gem with technician programming."

Blue Pearl sighed in relief.

"Had she said anything else, perhaps some information about the Crystal Gems?" Blue Diamond asked eagerly. Her deep blue eyes glowed with sudden relish.

It was practically the first time a Pearl had said anything worthy enough for their master to listen.

Blue Pearl's eyes trailed to the floor. "No, I haven't had much progress with that."

The excitement in her Diamond's eyes faded, replaced with their usual condescending look. Blue Pearl's moment of usefulness had disappeared.

"I hope you can go further with these conversations," Blue Diamond spoke. "You are the only one that the defect listens to. It's quite remarkable, especially since so many before you had failed.

Being praised was something a Pearl wasn't used to. It was a strange feeling for Blue Pearl.

Luckily, her Diamond didn't keep lavishing her inappropriately.

"It's startling how much a simple flaw in production can change a Gem so much," Blue Diamond said.

Her Pearl nodded in response.

"Her Kindergartners must've really messed up to make a Pearl such as our prisoner," the Gem leader continued. "It's so unprecedented for a Pearl to function this way. I am quite disgusted."

"You are?" Blue Pearl asked.

"Pearls are meant to serve, to stand and not speak," Blue Diamond explained. "They are not meant for killing on the battlefield. We already have Gems for that. They belong by a master's side. That's what they're made for. Strength and leadership is something you're born with, and Pearls lack that. Now this faulty Pearl is trying to fake that kind of authority, as if she is worthy for that title. Defects are supposed to be shattered, and if Rose is determined to take advantage of one, then she is truly defective herself."

Something twitched from underneath Blue Pearl's façade of elegance and grace. A searing knife of heat pulsed from within her. She didn't know what to identify it as. Her face remained placid as the feeling began to throb inside her, keeping her emotions at bay, a skill that was necessary for a Pearl to survive.

Blue Pearl not only disagreed with Blue Diamond's opinion but she felt angry at her for saying something so petty. The Crystal Gem Pearl wasn't as wild or impulsive as Diamonds had said they were. She was quite pleasing to be around. She made Blue Pearl feel content instead of intimidated. The stories she told her were quite interesting to hear about, thrilling tales of war battles and human encounters.

What was Blue Pearl thinking? She was a Pearl, defying a Diamond's words. If anyone knew, she would be shattered immediately. She had kept a silent and calm demeanor all for one purpose: survival. Pearls long before had been shattered either for being an ancient model or for being defiant. Blue Pearl had lived longer than any other Diamond's Pearl. Pearls like the defective Crystal Gem were destined for death, putting their life on the line because they couldn't keep their mouth shut.

Blue Pearl wanted to live.

She couldn't bear the thought of weapons cracking and destroying the polished stone on her chest.

She had seen the remains of war before: battlefields littered with lost lives that were eventually put inside a bubble and forgotten.

She didn't want to be a rogue Gem like Pearl, who would perhaps die at the hands of Blue Diamond herself. She didn't want to be a floating pile of shards inside a bubble. She wanted to keep on living, especially since Homeworld had crafted such a devious way to make Gem shards useful.

Pearls were shattered every day. Masters would get tired of their old models and desire better, more efficient servants. It was no crime at all; the life of a common Pearl was about as worthy as an inferior organic being. A Pearl's life span was notoriously short.

Blue Pearl's goal was to live just as long as any other Gem can. If she can't have the blessing of a weapon or powerful abilities, then she wanted the luxury of not having to fear death at every turn, just like every other Gem.

Pearl was just begging to be shattered for her crimes.

Blue Pearl was smarter than that.

The servant bowed her head and replied, "I agree with you wholeheartedly."

Blue Diamond's faint smile was enough satisfaction for her Pearl.

It meant she would wake up to see another day.


	5. Fighting for a Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl explains what it means to be a knight. Meanwhile, some Quartzes aren't too happy with the new status quo.

Pearl closed her eyes and concentrated. She pictured all those times when Rose pulled out her shield, the way it appeared from her gem so flawlessly and gracefully. She recalled the time when Garnet summoned her weapon, a pair of gauntlets materializing on her hands. Pearl cupped her hands around her gem, similar to how she retrieves items from her pocket dimension. She swept her hands upwards and opened her eyes, expecting a weapon of some sort being conjured from her gem.

Nothing, absolutely nothing; and this was her hundredth time trying.

Pearl collapsed against the walls, hopelessness and dread setting down upon her. She was powerless once more without her swords or Rose Quartz. She was at the mercy of a Diamond, cowering before an army of Quartzes, just like she was several millennia ago.

She was weak.

She was pathetic.

She was an ordinary Pearl once more.

It would only be a few more cycles until Pearl would lose all hope of being rescued. Until she was nothing more than a pawn in whatever sick plan Blue Diamond had for Earth.

Soft footsteps interrupted Pearl's silence.

She looked up to see the viewing window once more being unbolted slowly. She clenched her fists, waiting for whichever blockheaded Quartz wished to interrogate her.

A face half-hidden by a cloak of silky blue hair peered in, revealing only her pointed nose and shy smile.

"Blue," Pearl cried. "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were one of the guards!"

"I could never be that intimidating," Blue replied, flicking a piece of hair from her face.

When each cycle was an endless stretch of waiting and suffering, Pearl's only opportunity of happiness was speaking to Blue. The servant never wished her harm and only wanted to comfort Pearl, if only to please her master.

She was only one Pearl agreed to speak to.

"I want to ask you something," Blue said.

"What is it?" Pearl asked. She wondered if Blue Diamond sent her Pearl to interrogate her for information. But that was a silly thought; a Diamond would never send a Pearl to do such a task.

"Why are you fighting when you are destined to die?" Blue asked.

"I'm not going to die, look at how much progress the Crystal Gems made," Pearl cried, then remembering that Blue was on the opposite side of the war.

"But look at how many lives are wasted; is it this planet so valuable that it's worth to risk so many innocent Gems' lives, to risk your life?" Blue responded.

"It seems to me that it's so valuable the Diamonds are actually fighting to win it back!" Pearl snapped. "Rose had tried to work this out peacefully, but there was no other choice than to start a war! Do you think she wanted any of this?"

"But isn't it easier to stay alive if you let this planet go? The reason we do this is to expand our colonies, to create more Gems. You have to trust the Diamonds if it means keeping yourself and your friends alive," Blue replied.

"No, because that's so selfish," Pearl screeched, slamming a fist into the walls, startling her fellow Gem. "There are millions of species here dying because of this harmful process. Staying quiet to stay alive is absolutely stupid! What's the point of a long life when it's a life completely wasted following orders and doing everyone's bidding! It's better to be dead and free than to be alive and enslaved!"

Blue pinched her lips together, as if she was ashamed to even speak in the first place. She looked so innocent, so quiet; Pearl almost regretted shouting at her.

"Do you ever miss them? Those who died in battle, do you ever remember them?" Blue asked softly, afraid Pearl was going to snap at her again.

"All the time," Pearl answered. She struggled not to cry in front of Blue. "They died such tragic deaths, but honorable deaths."

"What is so honorable about being dead? You are no longer useful to the team, you're another casualty in the battle," Blue said.

"Perhaps that's what Homeworld thinks, but it's different here," Pearl responded. "Back home, you're put in a bubble or in some sort of machinery and forgotten. But Rose Quartz honors those who are dead, remembers their sacrifices and use their memory to keep fighting. When you die in battle, you die for a purpose. And when you die for a purpose, you are never forgotten. I'm not afraid to die for Earth, Blue, because if I do, then I know that it'll all be worth it for Rose to live."

"What if the Crystal Gems lose and you are broken for your crimes?" Blue asked. "Then it's all for nothing if the Earth dies."

"Then I hope another generation can do what I did and succeed," Pearl said wistfully. "If not, then my shards can be a reminder to the Diamonds that there was one Pearl who wasn't afraid."

Blue smiled once more. Pearl treasured that look, it was so rare when Blue actually smiled and honestly, she looked much prettier that way.

"I wish I can be as brave as you," Blue said softly. "I don't have a purpose at all."

Pearl remembered that look. It was the look she wore herself a couple of millennia ago, back when she believed she was a worthless mistake. She refused to let another Gem feel that way.

"I may have fancy swords and a reputation, but you have to remember, I'm a Pearl as well. We're equals and that means you can do whatever I can do, no matter what your Diamond says about me," Pearl reassured her.

Blue blushed and removed the curtain of hair shielding her face, revealing a pair of shimmering blue eyes that could hardly compare to Pearl's own eyes.

"I doubt that, but thanks anyways," Blue replied.

Back in Blue Diamond's throne room, Milky Quartz and Amethyst sneered as Blue Diamond's Pearl retreated back to her master's side, waiting to share information with her master.

"That little clod thinks she can steal our job, she must be as defective as the renegade," Amethyst growled.

Milky Quartz narrowed her eyes. "First, there's a Pearl that can fight, now there's one that can fix a defect. What's next, a Pearl that can sit on a Diamond's throne? This is defying every law ever made."

"There's one thing we can do to fix this," Amethyst grinned, cracking her knuckles. "Surely, Blue Diamond won't miss her old model, would she?"

"I'm right behind you," Milky Quartz replied. "I poofed a twisted Pearl once, I can do it again."


	6. Meanwhile at Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Rose mourns Pearl's disappearance, Garnet takes a peek into her comrade's future and discovers something about another Gem.

Rose had lost count of how many Earth cycles had gone by since Pearl's capture. All she knew was that every cycle since then had been unbearably depressing. She missed the bright blue spark in Pearl's eyes that appeared when spoke. She missed her absolute enthusiasm for the Crystal Gems' cause, her undying devotion fueling Rose's courage.

It was strange that she didn't even notice those things until they were gone. Like Pearl's true value had been hiding underneath until the day she was captured.

And Rose had hated herself for taking it for granted.

Perhaps she could've prevented it. The memory of that faithful day flashed before Rose's eyes once more. She was weak, battered, torn apart. She trembled before a massive Milky Quartz, grasping her sword, preparing to strike once more. But she was so weak. She would cough up blood if her body provided her some like the way humans do. The warrior before her only grinned murderously at Rose's frailness, raising her battle axe.

Rose had thought she was done for. Everything she's worked for, vanishing into thin air.

But then a thin, lithe body jumped in front of her. She appeared so quickly, that Rose had mistaken her for a white flash at first. But when Rose's vision adjusted, she saw that it was her valiant protector.

She heard Garnet's voice in the distance, screaming. "Pearl, no! You're going to—"

Suddenly, there was a slash, there was a scream. Then . . . clink . . . the sound of Pearl's gemstone falling onto the ground echoed in Rose's ears.

Tears burned against Rose's eyes. She let out a wailing shriek, one of pain, one of grief, one of anger. Rose stood tall and raised her sword. She gave an intimidating stare to the Gem who poofed her dear soldier.

But the Milky Quartz only smirked, as if she was laughing deep down at Rose's gesture. The warrior snatched Pearl's gem off the ground and fled, leaving Rose unharmed.

Rose blinked in the rising smoke and ash of the battlefield. She couldn't believe it. She was duped. She was never going to be harmed in the first place.

Garnet reached her leader and dragged her out of the camp before they were devoured by flames. Her voice had only been a faint echo in Rose's ear, her head was consumed with all the screams trapped inside her mind.

Pearl was gone.

She tried to protect her.

But it was what the Milky Quartz had wanted.

Pearl had fallen for it. Rose had fallen for it, more importantly. They were both fools.

"Rose," Garnet's gentle voice called Rose back to reality, "We need you, right now."

"What is it?" Rose gasped. Her voice a little raspy from all the crying she's done.

She looked down and realized she was clutching Pearl's old sword, as she liked the memories it had brought. She placed it back on the table before Garnet could question any further.

"Zircon, she was attacked during her scouting mission," Garnet whispered hoarsely. "Her gem is cracked."

Garnet didn't need to say more, Rose had already picked up the hems of her skirt and rushed down the hallways of their base. The fusion's footsteps followed hers.

The slim Gem was lying on the floor of the Crystal Gem base, wincing as her body continued to glitch and deteriorates.

"Zircon, let me see it," Rose whispered, kneeling down next to the injured Gem.

Zircon moaned in response. "It hurts," she could barely manage to speak.

"I know it does," Rose whispered, stroking the Gem's long whitish hair. "But it'll hurt worse if you don't let me see it."

Zircon trembled as she turned over, revealing the gemstone on her shoulder. A deep crack ran over the white stone, like a canyon cutting through land.

Rose drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes. The pain Zircon was in flowed through Rose's hands, hot and burning. Zircon's fear, her suffering, Rose could feel it all. It was like Rose's gem was cracked as well. She let out her sorrow and compassion and soon enough, sparkling tears flowed down Rose's face and splashed onto Zircon's gem.

When Rose opened her eyes, Zircon was sitting up, healthy and glowing again, her silvery eyes filled with relief.

"Thank you, Rose," Zircon sighed, resting her head against Rose's shoulder.

"My pleasure," Rose replied, planting a kiss on Zircon's head and helping her up.

Rose had almost reached her chambers when she felt Garnet's gloved hand grasp her arm.

"Rose, were you thinking of Pearl earlier?" Garnet asked, worry in her eyes.

Rose bit her lip. Truth was, if it wasn't for the battles outside, she would coop herself up inside her chambers all day, clutching Pearl's sword. A piece of her was missing; any purpose in fighting seemed to vanish. Rose had never felt more crushed before. But she kept smiling in front of her comrades; there were still things more important, such as the safety of humankind. Rose didn't want anyone to fuss over her, so she kept up with the fake happiness. She had hoped no one would notice the hurt deep down.

She had failed.

"It was all my fault," Rose choked. "I could've stopped that Quartz . . ."

"No stop," Garnet interrupted. "It was all my fault. I saw Pearl sacrificing herself before it happened and I tried to warn her . . . she wouldn't listen to me."

"She's usually so logical . . . except when it comes to me," Rose said.

Pearl's devotion was her greatest strength. It was also her greatest weakness. And unfortunately, all her deadly loyalty was directed at Rose.

"Please, don't worry about me," Rose pleaded. "I'm fine. Wherever Pearl is, she would want us not to waste time mourning. There are lives out there that need us. We need to focus. So please leave me be."

Garnet frowned but did not keep prying. Once Rose left, Garnet sucked in her breath and closed each of her eyes except for the one on her forehead. The world before her disappeared and was replaced by a world taking place further into the future.

She saw Pearl, breathing heavy, scratches cutting through her smooth skin. She stood atop a wall guarding a heavily-secured base. Sirens went off in the distance and clamoring voices filled the air. Pearl paid no attention to the disaster behind her, instead focusing on the open expanse of land in front of her. She carried a long thin spear with a glowing, pearlescent blade, in which Garnet had no idea where she got that.

Pearl was about to jump down from the wall when a slender-fingered hand grabbed her shoulder, sinking perfectly-shaped fingernails into her skin.

Pearl turned around and faced another Gem, one Garnet didn't recognize, with short periwinkle blue hair and a placid expression.

Another Pearl.

"Don't," the Pearl whispered and the vision ended.

Garnet returned to the present world and tried to view the other possibilities.

There were none.


	7. First Defiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't have to be defective to fight.

The renegade Pearl was renowned and feared for her sudden emergence as the strongest fighter in the Crystal Gem army. Her face was known by everyone in Blue Diamond's court and there were hundreds more who knew of her reputation back on Homeworld. She was the first Pearl to become known by all, the first to become visible in a crowd of lookalike, manufactured servants.

Blue Pearl was the second.

While she didn't wield any dangerous swords nor ever poofed a soldier, she was still able to become unique amongst the others . . . different than how the renegade became known.

She held importance to her master, not by being pretty or by being silent. She provided information that no one else could procure. She was able to hold her own against a dangerous defect . . . and managed to tame it.

Being special was unheard of when you were a common Gem. One remarkable skill you may possess, there were hundreds more with the same skillset. You could easily get lost within a gathering of your kind. If you die, your Diamond can simply manufacture a new one just like you. Your life had no meaning, no importance. It was practically lucky to find someone who would even mourn your death.

It was even harder for Pearls, knowing that your life was only as valuable as how shiny and new you were. The one you devoted your life to could never shed a tear at your pain and suffering.

A Pearl that managed to be special was rare.

And there were some that believed that those "special" Pearls should be eliminated.

Blue Pearl traipsed lightly upon the cold floors that lined the shadowy corridors. It was time yet again to visit the captive as her Diamond instructed. Long unclaimed cells were everywhere she turned. Every few minutes or so, she expected something to pop out at her. But it was only in her imagination.

All Pearls had the comfort of always being guarded by their master. Even when they were kept outside as their masters spoke of personal matters, they always had the satisfaction of being in close enough proximity that if there was any danger, their master would call to them and they would be protected.

But Blue had to complete her work far, far away from her master. If there was anything dangerous lurking in the prison halls, her screams would barely reach her master's ears.

In her entire lifetime, she had always been near her Diamond. It was always stand by and act as decoration; sometimes even dance for others' entertainment—but only when her Diamond demands it, of course.

She had never been this far from Blue Diamond. It was quite unsettling—but also quite liberating.

Blue's shoulders relaxed and her elegant poise began to loosen up. She let her hands fall by her side and her hair brush away from her face. For once, there was no one there to judge the way she walked, the way she presented herself. There was no one to please, no one to criticize, no one to impress. The endless pleasing and entertaining had subsided, if only for a few minutes. Once she was back in the arms of her Diamond, the judging would begin again.

But Blue wanted to savor every last second of freedom she had.

Right when Blue was absolutely certain she was comfortable being alone in the dark, another presence appeared and sank their talon-like fingers into her shoulder blade.

Suddenly, Blue's arm was snatched by a beefy hand and her body was flung helplessly against a stony wall, her cheek grazing the smooth brick. An enormous weight was pressed upon her as she screeched in pain. She felt a familiar wisp of long silvery hair brush her back. Two pairs of glowing eyes faced her, one a dark indigo and the other a deep charcoal gray.

"Looks like Rose isn't the only one with a defective Pearl," a large Amethyst snarled, pinching Blue's delicate cheek as her Milky Quartz friend pinned her against the cell door.

"What are you talking about?" Blue squeaked back.

"We know about the conversations you and the renegade have," Milky Quartz replied with a growl. "You may act all perfect and pristine, but deep down inside, you're a traitor."

"I would never do such a thing!" Blue cried. Tears caught in her voice as Milky Quartz continued to push at her. "I could never betray my Diamond!"

"The renegade already did," Amethyst spat. "It'll only take time until every Pearl rebels against their code. You're just going to be the first of many. So better give up now or we'll inform your master of your treachery!"

"I only do this because it's my Diamond's order," Blue replied. "I can't disappoint her!"

"It's either that or be shattered for rebelling," Amethyst threatened.

"I'm not a rebel," Blue sobbed, "I swear, I'm not!"

"That doesn't matter," Amethyst answered and she nodded towards her friend who nodded back.

"You don't belong here, you know that right?" Milky Quartz snarled as she dragged Blue away from the wall and pinned her against the floor, pressing her knee on top of the Pearl's back. "You're just a decoration, something to touch and admire. Any Pearl that does anything useful is a defect. And you know what happens to defects, right?"

She clapped one hand onto Blue's mouth and the other around her waist. She began to squeeze and press as Blue screamed in pain. Her body was built to be delicate and willowy, like a flower. Apply enough pressure, and the stem snaps.

Blue's physical form was going to break. Once that was gone, the Quartzes wouldn't hesitate to shatter her. She was going to die just like every other Pearl. Every action that was held back, every word that was suppressed, and everything else she'd dome to survive, it wouldn't matter. She can't stop this. It was only fate after all, no Gem had ever lasted millennia except the Diamonds. Her death wouldn't matter to anyone, right? Blue's only option was to accept it.

But she didn't.

She worked so hard to preserve her life span, kept every word muffled, followed every order without a second thought. She couldn't—no, she wouldn't—just die this way. She wouldn't let everything she's worked for go to waste. She wouldn't just let these strangers choose her fate.

Not after everything she's been through.

As Milky Quartz's fingers pressed against her mouth, Blue bared her teeth. With one bite, the Quartz's hand flew away from her mouth, allowing herself to slip out of her grasp as the soldier howled in pain.

"Stop whining!" Amethyst shouted. "She's getting away!"

Blue dashed down the halls, no longer carrying her effortless grace and stance. A mad smile was plastered on her face for seemingly no reason at all. A strange feeling filled her; it wasn't a relief or happiness, and it certainly wasn't regret.

It was pure, exhilarating adrenaline.

Never has she felt freer, more liberated. The scars left on her body didn't even seem to hurt anymore. Any calmness left in her was replaced with unleashed energy.

"Stop right there!" Amethyst screeched behind her. The sight of a gleefully energized Pearl infuriated her to no limit. She was determined to break her.

Blue's wrist was once again snatched but instead of halting, the servant instead twisted around and punched the Quartz right in the gem, a horrifying crack forming on the once smooth, faceted surface.

The Amethyst screamed in pain and collapsed onto the floor like a timbering tree. Blue sped away as fast as she could, the howls of pain and agony echoing in her ears. She was gone once the other Quartz had caught with them.

Milky Quartz gazed upon her fellow teammate, coughing and falling apart from her injury. The Pearl's attack left a deep crack in Amethyst's gemstone, deep enough to kill her. The purple warrior groaned as her friend hoisted her onto her back. They needed a healer, quick. More importantly, they needed Blue Diamond. There was no way that this information would simply go unheard of.

Blue Pearl was a defect, the two Quartz warriors were sure of it. She was dangerous as well, just as dangerous as the renegade.

She wasn't going to get away with this.

"I swear," Milky Quartz growled, "You're going to pay for this. One way or another."


	8. Perfection is a Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything a Pearl should be proud of, it's being perfect.

"Is the prisoner . . . comfortable with her living conditions?" Blue Diamond asked. "I've haven't heard a peep from her."

"She still desires freedom," Blue answered. "But other than that, she's quite comfortable. At least, she has stopped complaining."

"Rose is still going strong. She hasn't broken down a bit," Blue Diamond said wistfully. "Perhaps I was wrong about her. Taking away her Pearl seems to do nothing to her army. Perhaps Rose wasn't as defective as I thought; she might know the true value of her Pearl after all."

"Are you upset, my Diamond?" Blue stuttered.

If Rose doesn't break down, then the plan would be all for naught. And that would mean the renegade is absolutely useless to Blue Diamond. And so would Blue Pearl.

"If capturing the renegade provides no weakness to Rose," Blue Diamond said, "Then I know something that will. Shattering her and presenting the shards to Rose herself!"

Blue nearly fell over with that decree. Her knees wobbled just the slightest and her breath caught.

Shattering Pearl? Is she really that desperate?

"Why must we do such a thing?" Blue said shakily. "The renegade shows no threat."

"We captured her hoping her life would be useful," Blue Diamond responded nonchalantly. "It isn't. So perhaps her death would be. It was foolish to even think the Pearl's well-being mattered to Rose. The renegade is one-of-a-million, only special because one fault in her design. It's like valuing rubble. Being defective does not make you special; it makes you worthless."

For a while, Blue had forgotten that Pearl was a defect. Was that it? Was that what made her rebellious? Could one mistake her design make her capable of doing such things?

Could everything Pearl had believed in only be because of a flaw in programming? Was she only this way because she was broken?

Could the Crystal Gems be nothing more than just flawed Gems trying to feel important?

Blue felt inspired by Pearl. She wanted to be capable like her. She even defied two Quartzes to see if she can. But was Blue only admiring something broken and meaningless?

Did that mean Blue was broken herself?

Did that what she did earlier was nothing more than a flaw in programming, a mistake?

Did Blue really want to identify herself as that?

Suddenly, the doors to Blue Diamond's chambers swung open. Two Quartz warriors stood in the threshold; a Milky Quartz and an Amethyst.

The Gems that Blue had attacked out of fear.

"Traitor," the Amethyst growled, pointing at Blue with a trembling finger.

Blue Diamond crept out of the shadows of her massive throne. "What in the galaxy are you talking about?"

The two Quartzes charged forward, the Amethyst snatching Blue away from her Diamond's side and crushing her delicate wrist.

"She . . . had attacked me," Amethyst cried. "We discovered her little secret and she cracked my gem in order to silence me!"

"What secret? What kind of information is so valuable that my loyal Pearl would choose to withhold it from me?" Blue Diamond asked. She was neither angered nor disappointed; more as if she was merely curious about why her warriors would make such an accusation.

"The renegade has been brainwashing her or something," Milky Quartz said. "They speak of sinful things, things that no Pearl should know of. Your Pearl has allied herself with the Crystal Gems. She is a traitor."

"I did none of those things!" Blue shrieked, perhaps the first time she has ever raised her voice.

Blue Diamond did not appear to be fazed. "Tell me more."

"We couldn't let those crimes go unpunished, so we confronted her about it," Amethyst added. "But she attacked us out of nowhere. I had gotten my gem cracked because of her! I nearly died!"

Blue Diamond leaned back in her throne, contemplating the situation. The air around them grew silent. No one dared to speak a word. Blue dangled helplessly from the Quartz's hands, holding her breath for her Diamond's decision.

Finally she spoke.

"Do you really expect me to believe anything you're saying?"

The Amethyst dropped Blue's hand, allowing her to return to her master's side. She watched the two Quartzes mouths drop, their hands tremble before their Diamond.

"W-what, you're really taking her side?" Amethyst said.

"She's a Pearl, as she could be capable of doing such things," Blue Diamond said all-too-emotionless. "You were simply so petty about your incompetence that you went and made up a silly little tale to make yourself seem less of a failure to me. And as if this story does you any justice. What kind of Quartz gets cracked at the hands of a Pearl? Amazingly pathetic is what you are."

"It's true," Milky Quartz stuttered, no longer wearing her prideful smirk. She no longer appeared to be a ruthless warrior, more so a fragile speck. "Your Pearl is a defect."

Blue Diamond suddenly stiffened. Underneath her cloak, her mouth tightened into a grim scowl. Her fingers clutched onto the armrests of her throne, quaking with quiet anger. She suddenly stood, revealing how massive she was behind the airy curtains that framed her seat.

"Did you say that the Pearl I had specially made, the one that I handpicked myself, is a defect?" Blue Diamond glowered. "Like I could possibly choose a defect to serve me?"

"Y-yes," the two Quartzes said fearfully.

Blue Diamond clenched her fist and slammed it into a wall, creating deep cracks in the once smooth polish. The deafening sound practically knocked the warriors down onto their knees. Blue immediately retreated into the safety behind the curtained throne, obscuring herself in her master's rage.

"My Pearl is nothing like that disgusting mistake that is locked up in our cells!" Blue Diamond yelled with sudden passion. "I am a Diamond, and I know the difference between a perfect Gem and a pathetic defect! Are you saying that my judgment is flawed?"

"N-no, never," Milky Quartz quivered, her voice barely a rasp. "We regret anything we said to upset you . . ."

"You cannot be excused for such blatant disrespect towards your superior!" Blue Diamond snarled. "You will be shattered for this—both of you!"

"No . . . wait!" the Amethyst shrieked in fear.

From behind her hiding spot, Blue saw what was once her attackers become nothing more than a sniveling pile of cowardice at her master's feet. She should feel relieved. But no, she has never felt more terrified. Her fingers grasped onto the edges of the curtains that shrouded her. Her eyes snapped shut.

Blue heard the loud burst of a poofed Gem, then the soft clink of a gemstone colliding against the hard floor. Her master's heavy footsteps followed the sound. Suddenly, the floor vibrated with the deep tremors of a Diamond's foot stamping onto the floor, nearly sending Blue to her knees.

A loud crunch echoed throughout the room.

Blue slowly opened her eyes and brushed her hair out of her face. A small mountain of purple splinters glinted on the floor, along with a pile of opaque white shards. Her Diamond stood before the wreckage, smiling sinisterly.

Blue slowly stepped out from behind the throne, watching her Diamond bubble the two Quartzes. She slowly approached the Gem, afraid to incur her wrath once more.

"You defended me," Blue squeaked.

"I was merely stating the obvious fact, my Pearl," Blue Diamond said emotionlessly. "They said that I had chosen a defect as my servant and confidante. Perhaps the worst twist in judgment to ever occur. You are the perfect Pearl, which is why you have the privilege to serve me."

"Thank you," Blue breathed.

"But," Blue Diamond continued. "If perhaps those two Quartzes were right about you, and I had just wasted my two best warriors over defending you, then we would have a problem on our hands."

"They were wrong," Blue said quickly out of sheer self-preservation. "I could never betray you."

"Yes, you wouldn't," Blue Diamond said. "Because you are the way you are supposed to be: silent and obedient. Anything other than that; and you would be a defect; a mistake. I hope that you are as perfect as you were before you met the renegade."

"Of course I am," Blue nodded.

"Remember to bid our prisoner goodbye the next time you visit," Blue Diamond ordered. "Tomorrow will be the last time any of us will have to worry about her."


	9. More Than Just a Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does it really mean to be a defect?

Blue refused to believe she was defective. She just couldn’t. Every time she looked at herself, she saw what she was supposed to be: perfect. She emerged out of her Kindergarten exactly the way all the other Pearls did, and looked and behaved the same way as well.

Every Pearl was silent and graceful, efficient as well as devoted. Not to mention beautiful. Blue fit all of these criteria and more.

So why was she having doubts?

Blue had only attacked that Amethyst out of defense, right? She was in the right to do so. But Pearls aren’t supposed to defend themselves. Even if she was as perfect as all the other Pearls, could she be defective on the inside?

Blue recalled the fateful event that led to the Quartzes’ shattering. They had accused her of being defective and tried to crush her. Blue, refusing to believe it, fought back at them. She was exhilarated to escape them, scared and shocked but also undeniably happy. And when the Amethyst reached out to break her one final time, she lost control of herself and her feelings and just punched her.

She didn’t what made her do that. Impulsivity, spite, perhaps even vengeance?

Those feelings weren’t programmed inside of a regular Pearl.

Could the Quartzes actually be right? Was Blue really defective?

Could that actually justify what they did? If so, that meant they were right to attack her like that. What Blue did actually was betrayal.

Being defective does not make you special; it makes you worthless, Blue Diamond’s words echoed inside Blue’s head.

Defects were not meant to exist. They were mistakes, nothing more. Any thought in their head, any feeling they felt, it was all wrong, just faulty programming. If they were the   
way they were meant to be, they wouldn’t rebel at all.

That meant any kind of individuality amongst Gems was simply the result of incompetence in the Kindergartens. 

Blue knew what she was feeling was only a mistake. She was a Pearl and nothing can change that. The sooner she accepted it, she sooner she can fix herself.

It hurt her that Pearl wouldn’t even get a chance to fix herself, with what Blue Diamond had in store for her. 

Blue did not want to see her get hurt. If only she could protect her.

Maybe she can.

Blue came to Pearl’s cell door one final time. When she unbolted the window, she saw the renegade Gem lifting her hands towards the ceiling, as she expected something was   
going to appear above her head. Pearl opened her eyes and groaned when she realized there was nothing.

“What are you doing?” Blue asked.

Pearl sighed and said, “I’ve seen countless Gems summon their weapons several times. I know if I can just concentrate, I might be able to do the same.”

Before Pearl could attempt to do it once more, Blue interrupted her.

“You have to stop that,” Blue said. “You won’t get any results.”

“Why can’t I?” Pearl snapped at her. Her eyes narrowed at Blue, who was not in the least bit afraid of her.

“Pearl, you have to accept this one way or another,” Blue cried. “You’re a Pearl! We’re not meant to have weapons, or fight, or go anywhere without our masters. No matter what   
you do or what you say can change that!”

“Have you even paid attention to what I’ve done over the last few centuries?” Pearl yelled. “Have you witnessed how far we come? Whatever your Diamond has been telling you is a lie; she doesn’t want to admit that the Crystal Gems are actually a threat! I’ve proven over and over that I’m not just a normal Pearl!”

“You’re right,” Blue replied, suddenly growing sarcastic, which she didn’t know she was capable of doing. “Of course, you’re not a normal Pearl. Why can’t you see it already? The only reason you’re even acting this way is because you’re defective!”

Pearl’s eyes suddenly widened in horror, like she didn’t even think Blue could even be capable of saying something so vicious. Blue was even surprised as well.

A long moment of silence passed.

Blue opened her mouth to apologize. “Pearl, I’m sorry—“

“Stop,” Pearl interrupted her, holding a hand up. “You’re right. I am defective.”

Blue opened her mouth to respond.

“But that doesn’t mean I should be ashamed of it,” Pearl continued before Blue could make another sound. “Blue, do you know what makes Gems different than humans?”

“Humans are primitive organic creatures,” Blue said. “We are far more advanced than them.

Pearl chuckled. “That’s true, but they are special in another way. Each of them has different names, and each of them is unique. There are no ways to separate them into superior   
and inferior classes; they are all just who they are. That what makes Rose love them.”

“What does this has to do with anything?” Blue spoke up.

“It’s just that what makes Earth so much more different than Homeworld is that there is no one to tell you who you can and can’t be,” Pearl explained. “Even if you are a common Gem, it doesn’t matter to them! You are not just one in a crowd of millions; you are your own individual. I know I am more than just a bunch of codes and numbers.”

“Do you think you could be different if you were perfect?” Blue asked.

“I don’t think I really want to be perfect,” Pearl admitted. “Being empty and hollow is not something to be proud of.”

Empty and hollow, Blue thought as she traced the outline of the gemstone on her chest. That’s what everyone thought of her as.

She looked right into Pearl’s pale blue eyes. Everyone knew her as strong and intimidating. She could face anything . . . except for the wrath of Blue Diamond.

“Pearl, I need to warn you about something,” Blue said.

“What is it?” Pearl asked.

“Blue Diamond is not satisfied with the results of your capture,” Blue informed her. “She kidnapped you in hopes of weakening Rose, but nothing has happened yet so far. She   
believes that your shards will be enough to break Rose instead.”

Pearl’s mouth dropped. “She’s going to break me?”

Blue nodded. “I can’t be disclosing this to you, but I think I know how to save you. You have to prove your worth to Blue Diamond. You’ll have sacrifice some information about   
the Crystal Gems in order to please her.”

“I can’t do that!” Pearl cried, flabbergasted.

“Please,” Blue begged. “It’s the only way to save your life.”

“I can take her on,” Pearl said defiantly.

“No you can’t,” Blue said. “You’re all your own here and Blue Diamond is a Diamond, for stars’ sake! I just want to keep you safe!”

Pearl kept shaking her head.

Blue’s face fell into her hands. “You’re going to die tomorrow! I can’t just let you die this way! Is this how you want to leave your legacy, Pearl? At the hands of a Diamond?”

Pearl remained silent and sank to the ground, not even bothering to make eye contact with Blue.

Blue choked back a sob and bolted the window shut, too upset to even say goodbye.


	10. Freedom at Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl lets out that fire deep inside her . . . it results in a spear.

Pearl's days were numbered.

She could hear the spiteful words from Blue Diamond's guards from the inside of her cell.

Can't wait to see Blue Diamond break her into a million pieces.

I bet she still thinks her master is coming for her. What a clod.

So this it what it takes for her to be a normal Pearl. Defective.

Finally, I won't have to listen to her yammer on and on.

She wished she could break the door down and poof every single one of them and watch their gemstones clink on the floor. But she couldn't.

There was just one thing she couldn't believe: Rose never came for her. She had always thought she was just as important to Rose as she was to her. She believed her liege would risk it all to save her, just like she would for her. Rose loved her, made her feel like an equal, valued her. There was no way Rose would just forget about her. She was different than other Quartzes; Pearl meant something to her. As if she would just abandon then and there.

Pearl refused to think that would be a possibility. It wouldn't. It would never.

It just has to work this time, Pearl thought confidently in her head. It has to.

She closed her eyes and choreographed moves accordingly. She summoned her light from her gem and pictured a weapon waiting to be unlocked from her core being. She imagined it materializing in her hands and gripping her fingers against it. It could be a sword, like the ones she used before. Perhaps it could be something smoother and lighter, something that might fit with her graceful design. Whatever it was, it didn't matter to Pearl. All she wanted it for it to do is to destroy any Gem she might come across.

Pearl's eyes opened to see her hands disappointingly empty. Her knees wobbled over and she collapsed against the cold solid floor in defeat. Maybe it could not be done, at least for a Pearl. She was specifically made to be a pretty little doll, not a warrior. There wasn't any weapon waiting for her to summon. She was made to stand around and take orders. She had no weapon, because she wasn't made to wield one.

"Blue Diamond wants to shatter me," Pearl said morosely. "This might be the end. I can never see Rose again."

She covered her face with her hands and let her tears fall when she was sure was alone. She wasn't going to let Blue Diamond's guards see her look so weak. It would add more fuel for the fire. She remembered the days when she was working under her old master. She let her control her every word, her every movement because defying her meant punishment. She loathed it when she did something wrong, whether it was a little blunder or a major embarrassment to her master's name. She still remembered being threatened and beaten every day until she had to force herself to rely on her master's approval to drive her.

Everything changed the wonderful Rose Quartz freed her from her life of enslavement. From then on, Rose had become the new center of Pearl's life, wondered by the way the Quartz treated her like an equal, showed her what the galaxy was like.

Now it looks like she's back where she started. Trapped. Enslaved. Powerless.

Once again, she was crippled and weak, kneeling at the mercy of a Diamond. Just like she was supposed to be.

No, a determined voice in Pearl's head chanted. I can't let this happen to me again.

Pearl removed her hands from her face, wiping off the tears that stained her cheeks. The despair she felt a couple hundred years ago as a servant turned into a flame of pure fury. A fire ignited deep within her scarred skin. She felt it crackle from deep inside, spreading from her chest and through her battered limbs until it felt like she was engulfed in an imaginary blaze.

She knew that fire. The fire that she felt when Rose told her come with her, grabbing her outstretched hand and walking into the unknown. She had snuffed out that flame for so long as a servant, but seeing Rose believe in her made it grew and grew until she decided to let it roar from within her. The fire that kept burning whenever a Crystal Gem had fallen, or one of Earth's magnificent forests were smothered to a crisp. The fire that came alive when she met Blue, her little beacon of hope in the darkness. The fire that died for a brief moment when she saw her go.

It didn't hurt. Not for a second. She knew that fire could get out of control, that it could destroy and burn. But it could also warm and heal, cast a flickering light in the dark. Pearl could control that flame within her, keep it poised and stable.

Not every inferno has to be destructive.

Pearl rose up and did her special moves that could summon the light from her gem. She thought of a petal dancing in the wind, the way it swayed and fluttered perfectly, despite being at the mercy of the breeze. The flower was driven by the gentle wind that moved it, but it was falling to its own pattern, standing out in the dust storm of pink that it fell with.

In a bright burst of light, a beam of light was released from her gemstone. Excited, Pearl grabbed it before it could vanish and claimed it. The light solidified into a physical form and transformed. It materialized into a spear, with a smooth, graceful shaft and an iridescent blade that ended with a sharp point. The spear felt weightless in her hands. She twirled it effortlessly.

A worry washed over Pearl immediately. She had never used a spear before. What if this was useless after all?

She gripped it tight and held it the way she had seen others used it. Suddenly, it felt like she held this spear her whole life, like she knew exactly how to use it. It was like an instinct trapped inside her was now released.

She knew how to use her weapon.

Pearl gave her new spear another twirl and aimed it directly at the stained wall that had enclosed her who knows how long. A spark of energy formed at the flawless tip of the spear and was released with a concussive force. Pearl was nearly thrown back from the sheer power of the blast.

But when she opened her eyes, she saw the prison door crumble before her, splinters of material flying through the air.

Suddenly, there was a shout from the end of the corridor.

"What was that?" a gruff voice roared, most likely a Quartz.

Pearl scrambled to her feet and fled her quarters, spear in hand. It wasn't long before she was faced with a group of Quartzes, shocked and furious.

Weapons were summoned and knuckles were cracked. Pearl was all on her own, and was surrounded.

You can't do it, a voice of uncertainty echoed from Pearl's head. It sounded a lot like Blue.

But Pearl kept her body stiff and poised, ready for battle. She held up her spear she had summoned from her core being, showing it off like a prize towards the bewildered soldiers.

"It can't be," a warrior whispered.

"That's not possible," another one spoke.

"Oh, believe me," Pearl said with pride as she twirled her spear. "It's possible."

"No matter," one Quartz retorted; Pearl could recognize this one as a Carnelian. She summoned a reddish-orange mace from her gemstone. "Time to put the little bird back in her cage."

"We're not afraid of you," a Smoky Quartz added.

Pearl let the fire inside her roar in her head, feeding her with the courage that she lacked for so long. "Trust me," she said boldly. "You are the one who should be afraid.

A small Moonstone burst into Blue Diamond's throne room. Her pale turquoise hair was disheveled and she was wheezing loudly from running apparently.

"My Diamond," she gasped urgently.

Blue Diamond paid no attention to her messenger's weak state. "You should be with the Quartzes, preparing the execution chambers," she said dryly. She turned ever so slightly to face the Moonstone. "What are you doing here?"

"The Pearl," Moonstone gasped. "She escaped."

That finally got her master's attention. Blue Diamond stood up abruptly, displaying her intimidating size for all to see. Her serene closed-lipped smile twisted into an outraged scowl.

"What did you just say?" she shouted. Her voice had the intensity strong enough to send the largest Jasper to her knees.

Her meek Pearl let out a soft gasping sound, suddenly letting her clasped hands fall to her side. Her placid expression shifted into something that resembled shock, unusual for a Pearl.

"Why isn't anyone dragging her back where she belongs?" Blue Diamond roared.

The Moonstone could barely gather her words. "She's overpowering the guards somehow. I don't understand it myself, my Diamond-"

"Where is she?" Blue Diamond gritted her teeth, riddling her voice with venom.

"I'll get to the security rooms immediately to track her," Moonstone stuttered.

"I'm coming with you," Blue Diamond replied, following the timid messenger. "Sound the alarms immediately. Let everyone know there's a dangerous renegade loose in the tower. Have all my guards scour the area. I did not go through all this trouble to lose now."

With all the commotion rustling in the throne room, no one ever seemed to notice a crafty little Pearl slip out through the back door.

If Pearl had a heart, she would say it was beating out of her chest.

Finally, she hasn't seen the sunrise in a long time. It was just as magnificent as she remembered. Cool, gentle air surrounded her and embraced Pearl like a hug, letting soft tendrils brush against her face.

Battle wounds marred her body. Not one of them hurt even for a second. Every Gem was so shocked at seeing a Pearl wield a weapon that it made it easier to destroy their physical forms.

She stood atop a wall guarding the heavily-secured base that was once her prison. Sirens went off in the distance and clamoring voices filled the air. Pearl paid no attention to the disaster behind her, instead focusing on the open expanse of land in front of her.

Finally, she thought. Finally free.

She looked beneath the wall she stood on. It was a long fall down, but with grace and poise programmed inside her, she knew she could easily scale down the dam.

But before Pearl could get a good foothold on the first stone, a hand seized her shoulder. It felt cool and gentle, if not also tightly-gripped. Delicate little fingernails dug into her skin.

Pearl turned her head to face a pair of frost-colored eyes. Her captor was about the height and weight of her, also sharing her lithe arms and pointed nose. Her periwinkle hair was swept away from her face, revealing a frighteningly calm expression.

Blue.

"Don't," she ordered Pearl.


	11. Come with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whose side is Blue on, anyways?

_No, not Blue_ , Pearl thought, _anyone but Blue_.

She didn’t want to believe the Gem that stood patiently as she sobbed in her cell, the Gem that listened to her stories, and meant her no harm when everyone else wanted to break her was betraying her.

But here she is now. Standing behind her, clear as day, waiting for her Diamond to come and take Pearl back where she belongs. Pearl couldn’t comprehend someone so innocent and frail could even do this to her. Blue was so sweet and pure; how could this be? This can’t be happening. Why would she do this?

 _Because no matter how kind and pure, Blue would always belong to Homeworld_ , a voice of reason echoed in Pearl’s mind.

Blue might be harmless, but she swore allegiance to Blue Diamond. And no one knew better than Pearl herself; Gems like her can never break their promises to their Diamonds. And she wasn’t talking about the entire Pearl-class; she was talking about every Homeworld Gem out there. It was almost admirable that even pure kindness can’t make Blue turn her back on her Diamond. It didn’t matter that Pearl was more sympathetic towards her than Blue Diamond; Blue would always choose her master. She would always choose Homeworld. Pearl was a fool to think she could change her. But nothing was going to make her go back into that cell; nothing was going to make her admit defeat again. Pearl—had—won—and nobody was going to take away her freedom again. Not even the one she had once called her friend.

Without thinking, Pearl snatched the fragile hand that caught her and shoved Blue down. The Homeworld Pearl let out a little yelp as the renegade tackled her to the ground and stood on top of her, pressing her foot against Blue’s spine, opposite of where her gemstone lied. If Pearl made a hard enough step, it would crack Blue’s gem.

“What are you doing?” Blue cried.

“I’m not letting you take me back to that prison,” Pearl spat out angrily.

“You don’t understand,” Blue stuttered, but Pearl silenced her by applying more pressure to Blue back.

“I’m not falling for that again,” Pearl yelled. “Don’t underestimate me! I will crack you—break you even, if it’s necessary! Don’t think just because we’re both Pearls means I’ll go easy on you! I don’t care how sweet you may act; you’re still the enemy!”

“Please,” Blue begged. “I don’t want to be your enemy anymore!”

Pearl froze, unsure whether or not Blue was telling the truth. She lifted her foot off Blue’s back but kept her immobile.

“What do you mean?” Pearl asked slowly.

“I can’t keep living like this anymore,” Blue said tearfully. “I don’t want to be someone’s little ornament, something shiny that’ll be replaced in a snap. No matter how hard I try, my fate will always be the same; I’ll be shattered in the same way all Pearls are. I want to change that. I want to live a long and meaningful life, give myself a purpose to live other than fear. I want to be with you, Pearl. You’re the only one who was been kind to me in hundreds of years. Please, let me go with you. I probably won’t be useful, but I want to be a part of the Crystal Gems. Don’t leave without me. Don’t leave me here to suffer.”

Suddenly swayed by her tearful confession, Pearl helped Blue to her feet, brushed the asphalt off her cheek, and embraced her happily. Surely, Rose would be a little suspicious at first, but she would always include another rebel in the Crystal Gems. Pearl knew this as a definite fact.

Then a sea of shouts interrupted their silence. Pearl and Blue looked down below them to lock eyes with a whole army of Blue Diamond’s warriors, from the largest Quartz to the most insignificant Ruby, all gathered together.

“Don’t you dare move,” a Spinel called out and without a moment of hesitation, she summoned a deadly crossbow, pulled back the string to manifest a glowing arrow of light and fired it—the white-hot beam striking exactly where Pearl was standing.

Losing her foothold, Pearl staggered back and fell into the sea of soldiers below her. Blue held out her arms for Pearl to catch, but she was too late. Pearl collapsed onto the solid earth with a loud smack. Searing pain crackled right through her like an electric shock. She knew that feeling all too well. When her hand fluttered over her gemstone, instead of feeling a smooth surface, her fingers ran over a rough crack. Horror struck through her as she realized she was surrounded and outnumbered.

The spear that was by her side vanished and with her damaged gem, Pearl was unable to summon another one.

“Sadly, Blue Diamond won’t be here to witness this,” the Spinel chuckled. “But she certainly will be pleased when we bring back your shards.”

Pearl shut her eyes, not wanting to witness her grave destruction. She thought she had won against Blue Diamond. But she was only one Pearl. How could she win when the odds were against her? She prayed for a quick and painless death.

“Don’t touch her!” Blue shouted with sudden fury, unusual for a Gem like her. Pearl opened her eyes to see the former slave jump from the precipices and land on her feet, nimble and quick.

All the soldiers suddenly backed away with shock. A light was summoned from Blue’s gem and with a flourish, she conjured up a sleek spear, nearly identical to the one Pearl summoned a moment ago. All the soldiers’ faces twisted with rage.

“We should’ve known,” one of the Obsidians snarled. Blue took a step forward, forcing all the enemies to take a step back. No one wanted to be in close enough proximity to two dangerous Pearls.

Pearl wanted to help, but she was so weak from her injury; she was practically useless.

“Go,” Blue whispered as the Diamond Authority’s army gathered enough courage to summon their own weapons. “You’re too weak to fight.”

“No—I can’t just leave you here!” Pearl hissed back. “Trust me,” Blue urged, her grasp on her spear tightening. “I can handle this.” Pearl opened her mouth to respond, to say that Blue was being irrational and needed a strategy, she was interrupted once again.

“Just let me do this for you,” Blue hissed.

She didn’t know what, but Blue’s entire presence somehow changed in Pearl’s eyes. She was still dainty and soft but shockingly, Blue seemed to have gained a new ferocity in her that was subtle but still present. And somehow, it changed Pearl’s mind.

Hesitating, Pearl gathered enough strength to pick herself up and scale the wall once more, looking back just quick enough to see Blue surrounded by snarling faces, wearing a content smile on her face. Arrows of light kept being fired across the wall, nearly letting Pearl lose her grip. But the thought of being free again, this time with Blue by her side, energized her, keeping her steady. Stones crumbled beneath her grip and arrows kept pelting against her back but Pearl kept climbing. Enraged screams erupted from the crowd as Pearl disappeared behind the wall. The army began to charge but they were halted by a single Pearl wielding a frost-colored spear.

 _I believe in you_ , Pearl thought as she fled from Blue Diamond’s base.

* * *

Blue Diamond sneered as a pair of guards marched into her throne room. She believed she has had enough bad news for today.

“Unless you have the renegade, I’m not interested,” she said.

“But my Diamond,” the Spinel replied. “You have to see this.” Blue Diamond rolled her eyes and turned towards her soldiers, anticipating the worst. Her eyes widened when she saw what her two guards were holding.

Attempting to wriggle free from her two captors, skin scarred and slashed, limbs weak and battered, clothes ripped and hair untidy, was _Blue Diamond’s own Pearl_.


	12. The Final Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue knows what she done deserves punishment, death even. But she doesn't regret a thing.

Blue Diamond kept a straight face as she listened intently to her guards’ accusations. Her mouth seemed to be forever sealed into a grim line. You could see a faint light underneath her hood; the burning fury in her concealed eyes. But other than that, she was absolutely stiff.

“We have no idea what could’ve made her do this,” the Spinel said after ranting on for what could be considered decades. “We have reason to believe she’s defective, but she couldn’t possibly be, with your divine judgment. Perhaps she has been around that renegade too much. All we know that she has committed serious treason, letting the renegade go.”

Blue was kneeling on the floor, her arms ensnared by a pair of guards. Her face was tilted towards the floor so nobody would see the terror in her eyes. She’s seen it all before; Gems who have failed their Diamonds, or have been proven to be defective, kneeling down before an army of witnesses, awaiting their trial. And there has been too few who have ever made it out alive.

But she kept herself stiff and composed; even if this was the end, she refused to let anyone think she was scared.

Especially after she has proved what she was capable of.

She remembered the burning fire she felt as she fought those guards, like an animalistic instinct has taken over her body, not paying attention to reason or logic. There was no way she would this battle, it was a million against one, and she was destined to lose from the start. But she kept fighting for some reason, and she didn’t know why. The tiny promise that if she actually won meant that she would be free—a prize so worthy that it meant fighting a losing war.

When she grabbed that spear out of nowhere, she felt sure and strong, determined that what she was doing was right, no matter the odds.

Blue Diamond finally spoke after an eternity of stifling silence.

“My Pearl,” she spoke, looking down at the measly Gem before her. “The one that has served me faithfully for centuries, the one I have protected from harm; is any of this true?”

This was the chance to lie, to say she has no idea what the Gems before her were talking about, to feign innocence and sob into her master’s arms and beg for mercy.

Blue looked up at her master and said plainly, as straightforward as possible. “Yes, it is true. Every last word,” she pleaded.

Blue Diamond gasped inaudibly but then regained her composure and regality. “And what the Quartzes said previously,” she continued. “I expect that was also true?”

Blue wasn’t sure about that answer. The Quartzes decreed her as defective, as a rebel from the start. She was as beautiful and demure as every other Pearl she has encountered. Her performances as a servant were efficient and always pleasing. But maybe deep down, there was a fire inside that didn’t show until the renegade lit it up and let it burn for a quite a while; and somehow, Blue was sure that she didn’t need for it to be extinguished. She didn’t need to be “fixed,” whatever her Diamond believes what it actually means to be fixed. She felt alive for a moment, and Blue didn’t want that light be snatched away from her again.

It made her feel like a real Gem, gave her the purpose she always felt was missing.

“Yes,” Blue answered again, just as bluntly as before.

The Gems guarding her sneered down at her. Somehow, Blue didn’t feel fazed. The blazing eyes that sparked sheer intimidation before felt mundane, knowing that Blue could do the same if she wanted to.

She knew that deep down, they were afraid of her. Afraid that someone meant to be controlled and caged knew how to fight, afraid that those who are common and lowly couldn’t be tamed anymore. They treasured order and control, and tried to put their chains on those who felt otherwise.

“Do you know what you have done?” Blue Diamond said. “Do you understand the intensity of your crimes? To you, this might be a little game made to provoke me, but you have released one of our greatest adversaries. Do you think just because your my Pearl means I might let this slip?”

“I am aware of what I done,” Blue answered.

Blue Diamond chuckled. “Trying to act high and mighty, pretending that I’m actually afraid of you; it almost looks cute on you. You must understand that it would be no expense of mine to eliminate you.”

“I know,” Blue said dryly.

Blue Diamond sneered, a look of frustration settling upon her face. “If you apologize for your incompetence and understand that what you’ve done was a serious crime, I might be able to spare you. You are, after all, one of the best Pearls I’ve owned.”

To any other Gem, this would mean an end to suffering, to fear of death. A chance to live, a chance to evade death, the bliss of knowing that your Diamond treasures you. 

Before, Blue would feel the same way as anyone else.

But she didn’t.

If she took her Diamond’s offer, it would mean that her life would continue the way it did before, endless cycles of the same thing, all because she was proclaimed to be lower than the others. 

Pearl promised her something different. The chance to go anywhere she wished, to see anything she wanted, without anybody to tell her no because of her anatomy. 

She had tasted freedom, she has tasted hope. She wasn’t going to let it all fly out the window. She wasn’t going to go back to her old life after all that. Not after she realized what she could do if nobody was restraining her.

“Are you asking me if I regret my actions?” Blue asked.

“Yes,” her Diamond answered.

Blue stared at her reflection on the glossy floor. She saw what she was capable of doing. She saw a fire blazing in her once-cloudy eyes. The idea of going back, to admit defeat, was absolutely ridiculous. She knew what the consequences would be if she rose up again, but it didn’t matter.

She wasn’t afraid anymore.

“I don’t regret anything I’ve done,” Blue said proudly. “I know what I did was right. Nothing you can offer me will make me say otherwise.”

The air around them grew still. Dead silence lingered in the room.

Blue Diamond grimaced. “I hope you know what this means.”

Blue nodded.

“Everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve done, it all ends,” Blue Diamond added on.

The young Pearl kept nodding.

Her Diamond stood up and ordered her guards to fetch a weapon, something suitable. They brought her a steel sword, one with a sharp blade and elegant hilt, something built for such a wielder. She unsheathed the sword and brandished it, making sure to display its deadliness for all to see. But Blue still wasn’t fazed.

She watched her Diamond approach her with vengeful eyes. Her former master positioned the blade at Blue’s throat, making sure it would surely slash at her gemstone. The Pearl closed her eyes. She knew the pain would be worth the sacrifice.

“Any last words?” her Diamond spat out coldly.

“I know you would never admit it,” Blue said slowly. “So I’ll say it instead; you’re afraid of me.”

Blue Diamond’s eyes blazed with pure fury and without hesitation, she slashed through her traitorous servant, relishing in Blue’s shrieks of pain and the way she vanished into clouds of bluish smoke. Her perfectly round gemstone dropped to the floor, slightly cracked from Blue Diamond’s vicious attack.

With an enraged laugh, Blue Diamond lifted her foot and smashed it into a million pieces, watching the delicate stone fall apart and scatters on the floor. Even when the shards couldn’t get any smaller, Blue Diamond kept kicking at the pieces, until what was formerly Blue was nothing but a pile of pearly grain.

As if she hasn’t gone mad in the last minute, Blue Diamond ordered her guards.

“Bubble her and put her in shard chambers, where I’ll never have to face her again,” she said coolly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you still want to finish the story, there are two more chapters to go. And if you want to kill me, give me a head start. 
> 
> *Runs and hides behind a brick wall


	13. The Unbearable Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl finally learns what happened to her precious friend.

It has been ten Earth cycles since Pearl’s return to the Crystal Gems. At first, when she arrived, Pearl made a straight dart for Rose, but her mistress stopped her in her tracks, noticing the deep crack that permeated her gemstone.

Pearl insisted she was fine, but she was immediately proven wrong when she began to glitch and split apart. Everyone went into instant panic, and Pearl was taken into Rose’s care as quickly as possible.

While Pearl’s gemstone was being soothed by Rose’s magical tears, Rose could do nothing but clutch onto her faithful soldier and sob. It was perhaps the most attention she has ever paid her, as she refused to leave Pearl’s side even after the treatment was over.

Pearl, overwhelmed by how much Rose worried, began to tell her tale of what happened during her incarceration. And all Rose could do about it was feel guilty during Pearl’s lecture, knowing that the reason she was even trapped there was because of her.

But what really interested her was that Pearl had met another Gem of her kind: Blue Diamond’s Pearl, or as Pearl prefers, “Blue.”

At first Rose felt dubious. She knew how Blue Diamond treated her Pearls and doubted that her Pearl would turn over a new leaf. But Pearl actually owed her life to Blue; if it wasn’t for her, she would have been executed by Blue Diamond.

Pearl has never been more exuberant. She had been the only rebel Pearl until now, and after informing Rose of what happened, she began to ramble about the possibilities when Blue would arrive.

“Just think about it, Rose!” Pearl exclaimed. “We could both train her together! I’ve seen her face a whole crowd of soldiers; she would be very useful to our armies. I could pass on what I learned from you!”

Rose began to envision the memories she shared with Pearl when she was training her, but this time she replaced the Pearl in front of her with Blue, from what Pearl described to look like. It sounded wonderful.

“You’re sure she promised to come for us?” Rose asked.

Pearl grinned. “Yes, she promised to come and join us. I’ve seen it firsthand. She was faced with dozens of warriors but she told me to flee. She even had a spear in her hand—it’s like mine but with a different color scheme—and she would never lie to me. She said so herself; she wants a different life; she wants to live in a world where she won’t have to suffer. Blue will be coming for us.”

Rose smiled and placed her hands on Pearl’s shoulders. “She reminds me of you. I bet she’ll be just as wonderful as you describe her. I can’t wait.”

The two embraced each other and Rose pecked Pearl on her newly healed gem. Out in the distance, Garnet listened intently to their conversation. She knew it was snooping, but she had to. She had seen something disturbing before Pearl had come back from her imprisonment.

Maybe it was only a faint possibility, Garnet thought. Maybe I can check again.

She closed her eyes, leaving only the violet one open. She felt the space around her evaporate and was placed once again in a vague future.

She was within a large, airy chamber, with huge swooping arched doorways and a high ceiling and dangling from it were various crystalline structures. Everything in the room was a shade of dark blue and in the center of it was a boiling vat of lava made to incinerate Gems. Suspended in the air around her were about a million Gem bubbles, each of them containing a floating mass of Gem shards. Some of them were waiting to be incinerated to make more room. It was much larger and more intimidating than the tiny Burning Room the Crystal Gems currently had, and the roaring lava pit was evidence that it was used very often.

There she is, Garnet said inside her head.

Inside of a purplish-blue bubble, was a floating mass of milky white splinters, ones that Garnet could confirm belonged to a Pearl. She could recognize its soft sheen and smooth texture. It was smashed into parts so small that it could hardly be regarded as Gem shards, more so pearlescent bits of white sand.

There were no other Pearl bubbles in Blue Diamond’s Burning Room, Garnet knew this was because most of the time, shards of common Gems were incinerated immediately.  
But one thing Garnet noticed was that there were fewer Gem Bubbles, and that could hardly be a result from less frequent shattering; there was a war going on for stars’ sake and that meant more damage. But then why did this Burning Room feel so empty?

She didn’t have time to contemplate it though, she already felt herself vanish into reality. She still couldn’t believe it, even though this was the second time seeing it.

It was official. 

Blue, the heroic Pearl who saved the Crystal Gems’ Pearl’s life was dead. There was no denying it. Garnet has seen the evidence.

The question was: what was Garnet going to tell Pearl?

Cycle after cycle went by, and there was absolutely no sign of Blue. But Pearl was persistent that her dear friend was coming. She left little clues around the surrounding area; just   
in case Blue was lost. As well as her fighting has gone, she couldn’t concentrate on anything else but Blue. She was confident that she was on her way any time soon, but sometimes, her mind wandered off into deeply bitter possibilities.

But she refused to believe Blue wasn’t coming.

She knew Blue was too strong and too smart to ever be at the mercy of her former master. Pearl could see remnants of herself in Blue and detected the glowing fire of determination in her eyes. She’ll find a way.

She has to, right? 

Pearl sat down on the roof of the Crystal Base, searching the open stretches of land around her in the darkness of the night, hoping—knowing that Blue was out there, trying to   
find her way.

Pearl refused to let anyone convince her otherwise.

A deep voice interrupted Pearl’s thoughts.

“Pearl? I need to speak with you.” Garnet called out.

The white Gem turned to face the fusion and nearly yelped when she saw that Garnet wasn’t wearing her visors, instead revealing all of her eyes.

It was a sign that what she had to say was important.

“Please don’t tell me you’re trying to find her,” Garnet said wearily.

“I have to be on the lookout,” Pearl insisted. “Blue might be somewhere lost and I have to search for her.”

These words did not comfort Garnet in the slightest.

She cupped her hands together and looked Pearl as seriously in the eyes as she could. “Pearl . . . I looked into the future before you arrived home and saw Blue.”

A smile spread across Pearl’s face. “That’s good; you saw how lovely she was. Now what do you really need to tell me?”

Garnet never looked so pained before. “You don’t understand . . . you know how rough Blue Diamond is with punishments, I witnessed it myself after all.”

It hurt Garnet even more that she knew what it felt like to face death front of the dark, empty eyes of Blue Diamond. After all, her two halves lived under her command for thousands of years.

“Yes, and?” Pearl was getting impatient.

Might as well get it out before you hurt yourself trying, Garnet said to herself.

“Pearl,” Garnet said plaintively. “I saw Blue being executed.”

A deep fog of silence passed through them. The only sound was the chirping creatures Rose fondly knew as “crickets.”

Pearl’s mouth tightened into a grim line and her eyes glared coldly at Garnet. “That’s not true.”

Garnet gasped before regaining her composure. “I’m telling you the truth! I saw it myself!”

“No! It can’t be true!” Pearl kept insisting.

Garnet shook her head. “It was all the future had in store for her.”

Pearl’s steely gaze eyed Garnet angrily. “You’re only saying that because you don’t know her as well as I do! Blue is too strong to let that happen to her! I know she’s out there! I   
know she’s coming! She promised!”

Garnet let out a deep breath before saying it again. “Blue is dead. I can’t consult the future again. It’s already been done. She’s gone.”

Pearl clenched her teeth. Her hands balled up into fists. She looked outright livid. “No, I refuse to believe that!”

The conversation halted when Rose appeared, tears staining her face. She trembled as she faced Pearl.

“Pearl, you need to see this . . .” Rose started.

“If this is about Blue, I’m not listening!” Pearl shouted. “I know she’s out there, waiting for me! You’re not going to—“

Rose held up a hand to pause her. “The Topaz troops came back from their raid. They attacked Blue Diamond’s base. Many of her soldiers were shattered but of course, Blue Diamond fled.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” Pearl screeched.

“It was the prison you were held in,” Rose stuttered. “The Topazes stole all of their valuables and burned it into the ground.”

“That’s good,” Pearl said, calming down. “Finally, revenge against that clod who—“

The white Gem was interrupted by Rose once again. “They found this in her Burning Room. It was the only Pearl bubble in there. I’ll think you’ll recognize the shards inside.”

The anger in Pearl’s ice blue eyes vanished at once. Not believing it, she reached for the translucent blue bubble in Rose’s hands and held it between her fingers. 

Uncomfortable silence stretched on for what felt like centuries.

Finally, no longer holding back the grief clouding her mind, tears began to flow from Pearl’s eyes like raindrops, splashing on the marble floor beneath them as she curled up into a ball on the floor, still clutching onto the bubble.

“This can’t be happening . . . what have I done . . . Blue,” were the words that poured from her mouth.

Immediately, Rose and Garnet reached down and wrapped their arms around her as Pearl continued to unabashedly wail.

“She could have been free,” Pearl whispered as she knotted her fingers into Rose’s thick curls.

“I know,” Rose whispered back in sorrow. “I bet we would’ve loved her.”


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens thousands of years later.

Even to this day, Pearl still thinks about what might’ve been if Blue survived. 

Perhaps Rose would love and cherish her just as much as she did to Pearl. 

Perhaps she would have been fascinated by Garnet and would’ve been thrilled to hear the story of Ruby and Sapphire’s love. 

Perhaps she would adore Amethyst as much as Pearl did. 

Perhaps she would’ve learned to love humans the way all the Crystal Gems did. 

Perhaps she would cry when Rose gave up her physical form.

Perhaps she would’ve loved Steven.

Even though Pearl admitted that she didn’t know Blue for very long, she knew that Blue would have definitely adored Steven and his infectious joy and optimism. It was true from everyone who knew him.

But even if Blue Diamond didn’t shatter Blue, it wouldn’t have guaranteed that she would survive the war. When Blue died, the war wasn’t even halfway through. What if she would’ve suffered a similar fate on the battlefield? The only difference would have been the time she died.

Back then, Pearl believed if the war was won, it would’ve meant hundreds upon hundreds of free Gems living on Earth. But when Pearl got her wish, she only survived with two others (and Amethyst). So what kind of difference would it make if Blue escaped?

Still, it would’ve meant that Blue would have the time to grow and learn and love as a Crystal Gem. She deserved to live longer.

Sometimes, Pearl wondered what would’ve happened if she and Blue never met.

Blue might have been able to fulfill that old wish she once had: to live as long as any other Gem. And she was a good Pearl, a pleasing Pearl. She could’ve made it a lot longer than other Pearl servants had. 

Could that mean if she was never influenced by Pearl, she might even be still alive today?

But then if she never met Pearl, she would have never earned her own name, her own voice. She would have never learned what if felt like to hope for something when all odds are against her. She would’ve stayed as empty and as obedient as every other lasting Pearl. She would’ve simply faded away into a sea of clones and eventually earn an inevitable fate as a common servant.

Blue would have been like all the other Pearls that Pearl encountered.

Pearl had changed Blue’s life. She didn’t extend it, nor did she do anything to save it. She just changed it. And Pearl wasn’t sure if it was for the better or the worse.  
Floating inside of the Burning Chamber, amidst all the other Gem shards that were sacrificed in the war, was a bubble containing milky white splinters that vaguely resembled miniscule bits of sand. It also contained hope, strength, sacrifice, and broken promises.

Pearl wondered if Blue would have become a great warrior if her Diamond hadn’t interfered. But with what little snatches of bravery Pearl had witnessed before Blue’s inevitable death, she was sure she had already become one.

Holding it carefully between her fingers, Pearl whispered, “Hello, Blue.”

It was a foolish thing to do, pretending that the inactive shards that were once whole on Blue’s chest would speak back. But it was a habit of Pearl’s that was impossible to shake off. It was like when Amethyst had discovered food and when Peridot discovered television. It was something that she knew would leave to dire consequences if she continued, but still did anyways, simply out of pure desperation.

Pearl even had done this with Rose often, carefully stroking Rose’s gemstone while it lay dormant in Steven’s belly as he slept. But she was a step closer to completely leaving Steven be as he slept.

Deciding that speaking to Blue’s bubble would only induce hopeless grief, Pearl simply rotated the bubble in her hands, carefully inspecting it.

Pearl imagined what it would be like if Blue survived the war and the long years afterward.

It might have taken her a while to get used to Earth and its strange logic, just like it did for Pearl. But then again, Rose would have been there for Blue, just like she was there for Pearl.

Looking back on it, Pearl realized that there were so many people that Blue had never gotten the chance to meet. She wondered how Blue would’ve reacted to Amethyst in the Kindergarten, how she would feel if she went through the vital parts of human history that the Gems experienced, what she would’ve done during Steven’s birth.

Amethyst knew about Blue, just like every single shattered Crystal Gem in the Temple.

All she did when Rose told her about Blue’s sacrifice was drop her jaw and say, “Wow.”

But Pearl knew that she would have admired the beautiful soul that was Blue.

Steven didn’t know about Blue. And Pearl wasn’t sure if he would ever get the chance to learn. She wasn’t sure if she or Garnet were up to the challenge of educating Steven on every Gem that was lost during the Rebellion. Rose took care of the job when informing Amethyst and Greg. Pearl didn’t know if she could ever do the same.

Hope and compassion was what filled Steven and it was also what filled Blue. She imagined the two of them being the best of friends, practically inseparable.

Somehow, her thoughts wandered towards Peridot. What would she think of Blue?

Pearl pictured the little obnoxious Gem lecturing Blue about what Pearls were meant to do and meant to do it for. She imagined Blue holding back her words and letting Peridot ramble on and on, silently seething with fury.

But even with Peridot’s rather misguided view of the world, she and Blue actually had a lot in common. Neither of them knew anything about Earth or humans or how freedom functions (and Blue would never get the chance). But of them had the desire to learn about it, to detach themselves from Homeworld and become a different person. Perhaps Blue   
and Peridot would actually agree upon their confusion about Earth.

Suddenly, a voice snapped Pearl out of her thoughts.

“Pearl, Connie and I are ready to practice sword-fighting again!” Steven cried. Next to him was an already prepared Connie, wielding a practice sword in her hands.

“Steven, what did I say about going into the Temple without permission?” Pearl scolded him, releasing Blue’s bubble.

Steven only shrugged in response.

Sighing, Pearl walked towards the entrance of the Temple and sealed the door shut behind them.

“What were you doing in there anyways?” Connie asked Pearl.

Biting her lip, Pearl managed to answer, “Nothing at all. Well, are we ready to start?”

She hopped onto the Warp Pad and Steven and Connie followed suit. When the column of bluish white light engulfed them all, Pearl detected the eagerness in Connie’s eyes, knowing that one day, she’ll be useful.

It was the same eagerness that once glowed in Blue’s eyes.  
Hope is a dangerous substance, fueling you to do impossible things that only lead to sure death. But it’s also a kindly elixir, giving you the strength during times of adversary and keeps you tethered to those who need you. It’s a flickering light that burns inside every one.

It burned inside of Blue and now it’s being resurrected inside of Connie.

And as the trio traveled through Warp Space, Pearl wondered if training Connie was the chance to begin what might have happened with Blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're looking for a story where Blue DOESN'T die, then please go and check out "The Pearl Trinity," a slight AU where the three Pearls are sisters.


End file.
